Life

Do you ever just sit there and contemplate your life? Where it's going, who you're spending it with, things that you've done - things that you haven't done. That's where I currently am. I can't figure out why my life hasn't taken the route that it was meant to. Say what you will "your life is only what you make it", I strongly believe that if something in your life wasn't meant to happen, it's not going to happen. Traveling is one major thing that I would LOVE to do. More than anything! It's so stressful and complicated though, especially when you don't have the funds to do it because you're stuck in a dead end job that doesn't give you any incentive to process or do better. Yes, I try to do better every day that I am there. Keeping myself busy, doing things that my job title doesn't necessarily describe and just trying to be over-all peppy. It's tough though. Things only become harder when I realize that I am actually so far away from my family so their support - although it's there is spirit - it isn't here physically and that's even more difficult to deal with. Not having the strong back bone of my Mother puts me into a deep depression so to speak. There are just too many factors involved that are dragging me down. I need to make a change and although I would love to say that 2016 is going to be different, I know that it won't.